Why we avoid giving feedback (and how to overcome it)

Providing feedback is an essential skill for People Leaders, yet many of us regularly avoid or delay it. This avoidance can hinder our team’s growth, impact relationships, and stall performance improvements. This week, we’re unpacking why feedback avoidance happens and practical steps to overcome these barriers.

30-Second Version

• Feedback avoidance is common, driven by fear, discomfort, or unclear processes.
• Delaying feedback negatively impacts team development and effectiveness.
• Understanding why we avoid feedback empowers us to implement clear solutions.

The Full Read

Feedback avoidance often stems from three main areas: emotional discomfort, practical hurdles, and unclear structures.

1. Emotional Barriers
Many leaders feel uncomfortable giving feedback because of fears about negative reactions or harming relationships. We often assume feedback might be perceived as criticism rather than guidance, triggering hesitation and avoidance.

Examples include:

• Fear of causing tension or conflict
• Worrying about damaging rapport or trust
• Concern about appearing overly critical

2. Practical Barriers
Even when we intend to give feedback, logistical and habitual obstacles get in the way. Busy schedules and assumptions about feedback being reserved for formal settings lead us to delay critical conversations.

Examples include:

• Feeling too busy to prioritise feedback
• Holding feedback for formal reviews instead of addressing it promptly
• Assuming others already recognise areas needing improvement

3. Structural Barriers
A lack of clear methods, frameworks, or shared team norms can make feedback conversations feel ambiguous or risky. Without established practices, team members are unsure how or when to provide constructive feedback effectively.

Examples include:

• Not having a clear model or method for delivering feedback
• Unclear expectations or roles regarding who gives feedback
• Teams are not explicitly discussing feedback routines or norms

By recognising and addressing these barriers, we can shift towards more regular, effective, and impactful feedback interactions.

How to Overcome Feedback Avoidance

Prioritise Feedback: Schedule dedicated, regular times for brief feedback sessions.
Develop a Clear Framework: Use simple, structured methods like the SBI Model (Situation-Behaviour-Impact).
Establish Norms: Build explicit team norms that normalise frequent, candid feedback.
Model Openness: Demonstrate vulnerability by inviting feedback yourself.